Flipple, Whipple, Schmipple

It's been a while since my last post. To be honest, I've been too busy with work to even think about writing a new entry. However, today I will force myself to contribute.
As you all know, I hate everyone I work with. (ok, not everybody, but close)
Certain people really rip my nightie.
Why?
Because they are stupid, fat, ugly or a combination of all three.
Ok, so I'm not perfect, far from it. But, I don't pretend to be something I'm not and I'm not a fucking moron.
There are several people here who redefine the word "Retard". These are people who have the reasoning power of a tube of toothpaste. Most people can learn something over a period of time. Particularly when a task is repeated many times. For instance, most people don't need to be shown how to tie their shoelaces every time they get dressed. The people I am referring to wear slipons. That says it all really. They are so thick, that even simple tasks and answers escape them. I cannot begin to express how excruciatingly painful dealing with these "people" is. Imagine having your teeth pulled out with pliers while someone staples your testicles to your penis and you'd be getting close.
The reasons they annoy me so much are endless, but I'll try to narrow it down to a few.
1) They get paid (a lot!) to work here. If that same money was used to finance the rape of teddybears, it would be better spent. How can you pay somebody to be so fucking useless? I'm being kind here. Calling them useless is a compliment. They aren't that good.
2) They make me look stupid. Everytime their fat-ridden lips open and the crap they call advice comes out, an angel gets molested. When they speak, even the furniture drops a few iq points. Worst thing is, I have to then speak to the customer they have just assaulted with their gibberish and nonsense. This, in turn, leads to me being associated with them and tarred with the "dumbass" brush. I resent that.
3) I've tried to teach them. I've shown these idiots how to resolve issues at least a dozen times. However, I would have had more joy trying to impregnate my stapler. They are that far gone.
4) I can hear them. One cackles, one is so deaf she shouts everything and the other one sounds like a monkey (if that monkey had it's brain removed and replaced with a turnip)
These noises are really hard to block out. My headphones are noise-cancelling but apparently not douche-cancelling. Nothing makes any difference. Even when I'm not here I can "feel" when they speak. It's a disturbance in the atmosphere, like mother nature cringing at the sound.

I guess my point here is that I really really fucking detest these fucks.
The sooner the business wakes up and fires these numbskulls, the better.

PS Fuck them